


I Want to Live Forever In Your Heart

by Feyatsirk



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Angst filled donut with a sweet glaze, Can you guess who has it?, Character with hanahaki plans their death, Hanahaki AU, M/M, Tw: mentions of vomit and blood as well, tw: mentions of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-03 19:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20458331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feyatsirk/pseuds/Feyatsirk
Summary: Hanahaki Disease: an illness born of unrequited love, where the victim throws/coughs up flower petals when they suffer from unrequited love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals. Rejection pushes the disease to grow faster, therefore killing the victim faster as well. The plant can also rot if the love does turn out to be returned.





	I Want to Live Forever In Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write one of these forever but every time I tried, they never turned out right. This one is still a bit rough at the beginning but the ending definitely fixes itself and i'm just beyond lazy to fix the beginning. So my apologies because as usual it's unedited and unbeta'd :D 
> 
> Title from [Immortal](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGvchrAeEWg) by Marina and the Diamonds

It was ridiculous really. Absolutely unbelievable. Aron scoffed as he flushed the yellow petals. To think he'd have hanahaki was insane, granted he had been hacking up larger and larger petals as the months went on. He still doesn't know what flower it is, having only coughed up petals, but knows obviously who it's for. As he wipes his mouth, he can feel the tickle in his throat again and swears. It had been getting worse, he may not be able to sing at this rate, but he had to try. Leaving the bathroom, he goes to his front door where someone had been knocking. Opening it, Minki's standing there a bit annoyed with food.

"You changed your code?"

"Uh heard some people trying to figure it out. I solved it. No worries." Minki stares at him in shock and says he should go talk to someone and Aron waves him off saying its fine. Giving him the new code that isn't going to work. He changed it so no one would see him coughing up flowers. It was bad enough he had already decided he wouldn't get the surgery, why make it worse for them to _know_ he was dying? As they ate, Aron glanced at Minki and sighed. He could try confessing, but it just speeds up his death if he rejects him, so he doesn't bother. Hugging Noah after they're done eating, Minki putting on some show and he feels the tickle in his throat again. Trying to keep it subtle, he does a smaller cough against Noah’s fur, but it doesn't work. He let one go so of course all of the coughs will work themselves out. Minki looks at him worriedly as Aron rushes to the bathroom; locking it as he coughs up more petals. He leans against the wall afterwards and hears a click on the door, scrambling to flush the petals as Minki pushes the door open. Eyes landing on the bright yellow going down.

"What happened?"

"Did you pick my bathroom lock?" Minki rolled his eyes as he spoke.

"It’s a button lock Aron, I hardly picked it. Now what is going on? Your coughs gotten worse." Aron laughs humorlessly and tips his head back against the wall.

"Didn't know you paid that much attention to me." Aron grinned at him and Minki raised his eyebrow at him.

"Aron..." he moves to kneel beside him and frowns, looking around confused when he smells something florally. Aron’s eyes widen when Minki reaches and picks up a single yellow petal.

"Aron... you..." he looks at Aron in surprise and Aron just sighs as he coughs again. Only a single cough from his throat being irritated.

"You have hanahaki?" He scoffs and shakes his head.

"Of course not. Who would I even be in love with?" Aron hated the look of sympathy that showed on his face and covered his mouth before he could say anything.

"Don't. Just leave."

"Aron you need to see a doctor. See how far it is, schedule a surgery. Something." Aron shakes his head and gets up going to the kitchen for some water as Minki follows him asking what he means by no.

"I’m not doing the surgery and I know how far it is based on the petals. Just go home, Minki. I know I plan to." Minki gives him an odd look before noticing a lot of his things are gone. Turning he rushes into Aron’s room to see a suitcase full and another half full.

"W-What...why are you going to LA? I thought this was your home finally." He pauses in the doorway looking at Aron and he nods.

"It is, but my parents and sisters are in LA. I'd like to see them before I die." Minki shakes his head and goes to hit him when Aron grabs his wrist, Minki crying as he pulls him into a hug. Aron rubs his back and smiles softly.

"It'll be fine. I thought it through already. I've recorded my parts for our album. I told the company id like a week trip to LA and I'll be gone before they realize I'm not coming back." Minki hates him. He can tell from how he's staring and just smiles a bit before Minki just pushes way from him and leaves, the front door slamming. Once he's gone, he groans and sits on the couch holding his throat. It’s a dull pain whenever he inhales and he's not even sure he'll make it to Los Angeles, so he grabs his laptop and brings up Skype to call his mom. Its late there but he hopes shes up and smiles widely when she answers.

"Sweetie, I thought you'd be on your plane already?"

"Tomorrow. But," he hesitates. How do you tell your mother you're dying because you're head over heels for your youngest group member? She waits patiently and smiles softly.

"You're not able to come, are you?"

"No, I can. I got permission it’s just," Rip it off like a band aid. "I have hanahaki, and It's getting worse. I don't think I'll make it to LA." She stares at him quietly for a moment, her hand over her mouth before he hears a sniffle.

"Mom, it's okay. I'm going to transfer my ticket to you so you can come here. Okay?" She shakes her head as she hears him tapping away as hes transferring the ticket and gives him a look he hasn’t seen since school.

"You listen to me; you’re going to a doctor and getting those horrid flowers removed. Do you understand?"

"I'm not getting the surgery mom. I already decided that. I love them too much to just rip it out."

"Who?! Who's caused this, tell me Aron." He just smiles and shrugs. Glancing at the jacket Minki left on his couch when he left. His mother crying and begging him to get the surgery so she can keep her son. He smiles softly at her and feels another fit coming so he says he loves her and will see her soon. She scolds him but he eventually just asks her to say it back.

"Please mom." She cries more and he can feel the burning of holding the coughs back when she says she loves him too and asks once more to get them removed before hanging up. He slams the laptop closed and rushes to the trash can, coughing up connected petals this time. Discovering they're daffodils and stares confused. The flower chosen for Minki? He expected a rose or something, but he knows nothing about flower language or how this disease decides the flower. His dogs whining as they nudge at his leg. He pats them both and glances at the door when there's banging. He sighs and gets up opening the door and isn’t surprised to see the other three with Minki.

"No. Get out I've already talked to my mom." Jonghyun frowns and asks if he's really going to be this selfish. Letting everyone watch him die all because he refuses to let go of a person who doesn't love him back. Aron laughs.

"I'd be dead already if I confessed to them. Rejection speeds it up." They all look at him then in shock.

"You...Aron! Go and confess to them! They'd be stupid not to love you back." Aron chuckles and thanks Dongho for the comment but sits down with a shrug.

"The flowers are daffodils. It's weird. I expected something different for the person." Minki sitting there quietly before mumbling those were one of his favorites. Minhyun hearing him and then looking back at Aron and then him.

"Oh my god. You love Minki." Minki looking at Minhyun in shock.

"No, he doesn't. Those were all fan services... weren’t they?" He looks at Aron whose ear tips are as red as his cheeks. He looks around for his dogs to hug once more before Minki kills him from rejection.

"What are you doing, Aron?" Jonghyun asks as Minki stares at him.

"Finding Noah and Kkotsooni. Minki's going to reject me and I coughed up a whole flower before you showed up, so he'll end up killing me." They all look at Minki who now looks pale and sick himself. He can't say no... or yes... he's never given thought to his advances. He thought they were for show and Minki doesn't know how he feels even aside from that. He knows he's happy with him but he's happy with any of his members. He does tend to seek out Aron though when he's upset, and Aron’s so attuned to him, when they're together and he has a night terror Aron automatically hugs him and tells him it’s okay.

"Minki, saying nothing is a rejection too."

"Shut up! I've never given it thought before! I can't say yes or no!" He cries and hugs his knees. Aron moving to him and hugs him tightly.

"You can say no. It's okay. Don't say yes just to save me. I don't think it works that way anyhow." Jonghyun shakes his head and says the acceptance has to be genuine or it's a lie and the disease decides it’s a rejection. They all grumble about that and Minki hates this illness. What deity up there thought it'd be amusing to grow flowers in someone’s lungs if they have an unrequited love? Minki shakes his head and grabs Aron’s hand taking him to the bedroom to talk privately. The other three sitting quietly as they realize they may lose their big brother. They already dealt with losing Minhyun, it was difficult for them then and they knew he'd be back. Aron though, he wouldn't be returning. Ever. Aron stared at Minki as he paced back and forth until he feels the tickle in his throat again. Swearing, he scrambles off his bed and grabs the trash can nearby and coughs up more full flowers tinted red with blood. Once done, Aron leans against the wall and closes his eyes.

"Just my luck. I'd fall for the most amazing person who says they _could_ love me after I've already contracted a super rare disease. Great." Minki kneels beside him and cups his face; running his thumbs under his eyes.

"Platonic love should count. I already love you, but I could love you more. I know I could. If only we had time." Aron weakly looks at him nodding some.

"Listen to me, when I'm gone, please don't hate yourself. I never thought I'd get hanahaki, but I never would have told you it was you. I didn't want you to feel obligated to return the feelings."

"It's not obligation. I did like you before, but I thought the skin ship was just for show because you didn't do it as much off camera. Wed cuddle but that was it." Aron stares at him and sighs a bit. They were ridiculous. Minki continuing to ramble about how he thought Aron was faking it. Aron reaches up and cups his cheek.

"Can I at least have a kiss?" Minki gives him a look but sighs. Cupping Aron’s face before speaking.

"If the disease would be nice enough to slow down, I _know_ I could love you again knowing its real. I just need time that we don't really have." Leaning forward, Aron’s eyes are moving quickly, jumping about his face before finding himself staring at his lips. Minki notices and chuckles a bit. Scolding him a bit before leaning and kissing him deeply. Aron melting just enough to make it obvious his teasing was never fake; cupping the back of Minki's head as he kissed back. He doesn't give a yes or no, and it worries those around Aron, but he doesn't seem to be getting immediately worse, so they deal. He tells them to do things like normal.

"Go eat, practice, whatever you do. I'll be fine." They complain about it saying he should be around friends and family before he goes, and he smiles some.

"This is my last wish then. Continue life like you would normally. I don't want my final days being you guys looking all depressed. Go see a movie or something." They understand and try to do as he asks. Even Minki. But he returns that night with a little bag and Aron just laughs but accepts the help Minki offers around the house since a bit too much movement makes him cough now. His mother arrives a few days later, Minki having gone to pick her up and nothing prepares Aron for the onslaught of hugs from her. He expected the crying. Minki takes her suitcase to the spare room since Minki had been sleeping on the couch; close enough to Aron that if he started a fit he'd hear and get to him on time, but he didn’t want to impose by sleeping beside him. The two of them momentarily forgot why she was there till she cups Aron’s face and demands to know who caused this.

"Mom. No Body caused it, it's not their fault." Minki's surprised and looks at them.

"You didn't tell her who?" She looks at Minki and asks if he knows and he nods. Aron telling him to be quiet before Minki points to himself. She looks at Minki in shock before looking back at Aron who looks irritated and upset.

"You love Minki?" Aron nods once and crosses his arms to the point it kind of looks as though he's hugging himself. Minki realizes then that Aron didn't even tell them he liked boys and he probably didn't tell his mother either. Aron notices his realization and shakes his head.

"Oh-"

"It's fine, Minki. She probably knew anyway."

"I knew both. You stared after girls and boys when you were younger. That's not important to me. I want you happy, and _healthy_ but this," she notices the few flowers on the trash can when he wasn’t able to make it to the bathroom this morning. "This isn't healthy. You're dying because you love this boy. I don't approve and I _need_ you to have the surgery, Aron. I can't lose my eldest baby." Aron watches her and hears Minki say he's asked him all week to get the surgery.

"If we had time..." Aron nods and walks to his bedroom shutting and locking the door. He can't deal with them both, coughing up some petals and full flowers again; He can hear his mother crying. Her voice carrying when she accuses Minki. Her frustration at the disease being focused at Minki since he's the indirect cause of it. He opens the door and best he can with a raw throat scolds his mother.

"It’s not his fault. You know that." Minki sinks further into himself and the couch after hearing his voice being so raw from the pain and coughing. Minki looks away, it was his fault. He had been here every day this week, watching Aron get frailer and paler. His confession of promising to love him didn't work. His best friend was still dying because of him. Aron shakes his head at her and looks at Minki confused when he gets up.

"I'm sorry. I'm so _so_ sorry I couldn't help you. It's my fault you're dying, had I just realized your teasing wasn't fake I would have still loved you now and it'd be fine." He pulls on his shoes as Aron scolds him and tells him that hes insane. That it's no one’s fault. Especially not his. Minki just smiles at him.

"Ms. Kwak, I'm very sorry to you as well. If I could change places with him I would. In a heartbeat. But I can’t stay any longer." Minki bows fully to her before apologizing again and rushing out. Aron calling for him before following, pausing at the main door asking him to comeback; Minki standing at the elevator crying as he waits.

"Nothing I've done has helped, Aron! You're getting worse, I can’t stand by and just watch." Aron stares at him before he starts coughing. Minki pausing and looking at him as he starts sliding down the wall. Still coughing and gasping. Minki rushes over to help him back into the apartment and on the couch. Begging him not to die. 'I can't lose you. Please Aron.'

Within the hour, Minki, the other three and Aron’s mother were waiting in the hospital for news as they tried to resuscitate their friend. Minki sniffling quietly as he sits in the chair praying; asking whoever listening to let him live. The others rubbing his back as they all wait, the time going on two hours now. Aron’s mother away from them just outside his room. They try to make him feel better but they themselves aren’t even really feeling that good. Like the blind leading the blind. As Aron’s mother watches from the small window; she feels remorse for the things she had said to Minki. She heads out and sees Minki still crying while the others sat close.

“Minki. May I speak to you?” He looks at her and nods and they walk away from the others and from other patrons. Minki still huddled in on himself as he stands there awkwardly. He doesn’t want to be scolded or blamed again. He doesn’t even know what he’ll do if Aron doesn’t make it. He can’t help the surprised look on his face when she apologizes though.

“It wasn’t right of me to blame you. I’m sorry. My frustrations-“ They both pause when they hear her name called by a nurse and look towards the doors.

“Ms. Kwak? We have news for you.” She rushes over and they can’t hear what the nurse is saying as she leads his mom through the doors and beyond where they’re allowed. With a heavy sigh, Minki sits in his chair again and Jonghyun pats his knee.

“It’ll be okay. I’m sure he’s awake finally.” It had been a while. They just hoped Jonghyun was right. That Aron was awake; no matter the cost. They’re waiting another hour before Aron’s mom returns but from a different set of doors, she waves them over with a tired smile. Minki having to be nudged by the others to get up. They all wander after her as she walks towards an elevator. The elevators taking them to another floor. As Minki realizes what’s going he asks what room he’s in and if they saved him without removing the flowers.

“He’s in room 738, they told me the flowers were rotting.” Minki stared at her before releasing a disbelieving laugh.

“He…it worked?” As soon as the elevator dinged and opened, Minki took off once she told him which set of doors to go through. Searching each door till he figured out the pattern and peeked into room 738. Smiling widely as he saw Aron sitting up in his bed with a nasal cannula under his nose. Looking worse for wear but he was alive. Rushing in, he hesitated by the bed as Aron looked up at him and grinned.

“I don’t know how but…thank you?” Minki crying before cupping Aron’s face and kissing him. Aron groaning lightly from the angle which Minki allows him to fix easily; kissing till they hear his mother clear her throat as their friends go ‘ooooh’. Minki feels his face and ears burn and just lower his face to rest on Aron’s shoulder to hide as the other chuckles. His hand coming up to rest against the base of Minki’s neck.

“Hey guys.”

“We’re glad you’re okay.”

“So am I. I’m sorry for not telling you guys till it was nearly too late.” They give him a look that he can tell means he’s not getting away with just a sorry. He understands that. Minki sits up and glares at him a bit.

“We’re all going to have a chat when you’re out.” He nods and smiles at him; Minki trying to keep glaring at him but fails miserably as he feels Aron threading his fingers through his hair and twisting strands. Aron’s mother moving to the other side of the bed and sits in the chair.

“I’ll be staying an extra week to make sure you finish coughing up those roots.” They look at her confused and she explains the doctor said as the plant rots, he’ll continue to cough up flowers and eventually the rest of the plant within the week or so. It won’t comeback again either. They nod and Minki offers his assistance as well if she ever wants some time to escape.

“I know you care for him, but aside from the coughing I’m sure he can do the rest.” She nods and accepts his offer. They all continue to chat until the nurse comes by and says the four have to leave. ‘Only family. I’m sorry.’ Minki hesitates but they can’t out themselves, so he waits till the nurse leaves and squeezes Aron’s hand as he brings his hand up and kisses his knuckles.

“I’m being released tomorrow afternoon. I’ll see you at the apartment I’m sure.” Minki smiles and nods saying he’ll keep Noah and Kkotsooni company and take them for walks. Aron warns him they like to run sometimes and to be careful. He promises. Minki leans down and kisses his cheek, whispering he’ll have to wait till they’re alone for a real kiss again. Aron pouts at him but understands. His mom is sitting right there after all. The four wish them a goodnight and head home. As the week continues, Aron returning home after coughing up some more flowers, now withered and pale. They don’t know how many are still in there, but he grumbles about the taste being worse than before. They scrunch their noses at him at the phrasing and he shrugs at them. The day he coughs up the final amount isn’t a fun one. Minki and his mother constantly bringing a trash can to him and glasses of water. Rotted roots and blood causing Aron to throw up as well and be miserable as hell. Minki holding him against his chest as he nests between his legs. Trying to sleep and rest between episodes as Minki strokes his hair.

“It’s almost over. I promise to buy you some pork rinds after.” Aron smiles weakly and nods.

“I’ll hold you to that.” Minki hates how raw his voice is but understands. He still blames himself, but he does truly love him, and he swears to prove it every day if he has to. Stroking his fringe back, he leans forward to kiss his forehead.

“I love you. Try to get some sleep. There's water and a trash can beside the couch if you need it again.” He nods and mumbles he loves him back. This position continues for a few hours before Aron coughs and vomits up the final amount. His mother rubbing his back as she sits beside Minki’s leg. Minki hugging him around the waist as he rests his chin on his shoulder.

“I’m proud of you.” Aron grumbles at him and downs some water before spitting that out as well. Minki chuckles and apologizes. Being tired, Aron just pushes Minki back to how he was before and moves to lay against his chest again; eyes fluttering shut as he falls asleep quickly. Aron’s mom smiling as she covers them with a blanket. Minki thanks her and she takes care of the bucket and gets more water. Leaving a clean trash can beside them just in case. They eventually have the talks about his decision makings and even his nonchalant attitude towards his own demise, but for the early weeks of his recovery. They mostly just inform the company he’s ill and Minki helps nurse him back to health when his mother leaves for Los Angeles. Aron becoming even worse in his affections for Minki, they still remain private and don’t tell the public about them. They don’t think they will. It’s more fun for the two of them. Seeing who can figure it out and who doesn’t. They don’t care about those who claim it’s for show and their friendship is just business; especially when Aron gets to take Minki home at the end of the day and spoil him with food and love.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it leave a comment (even if its just a keyboard smash; it tells a lot) or press the kudos button, guests can do both, too! 
> 
> Contact:  
[Twitter](http://twitter.com/feyatsirk)  
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